This photo was in a bunch we found when we cleared out my Nan’s house recently. It’s from my grandparents wedding day. And when I saw, it I cried.
Not like dirty blubbing just a little damp eye and a lump in the throat.
They would have been married 70 years next year. Which is mental.
But they were a sterling couple. A couple that waited for each other whilst there was a war. A couple that knew they couldn’t be in touch all day every day but had to rely on one letter a month. A couple that knew real skint. That knew real fun.
That knew real love.
I do often wonder that if a couple that were so meant to be, like they were, met in an age like ours – would they have made it?
Would today’s temptation have drawn Grandad to stray and the plethora of options on her phone, made Nan question if he was really the one?
Because, even now, when faced with ones that you think are the one, there’s always a question. Always another option.
I don’t think loves changed. Or compatibility. But even a couple like my Nan and Grandad would have struggled today.
In today’s world, if Nan didn’t get a reply from a text in an hour, let alone wait 6 weeks for a letter to make it home from the trenches, she would have jogged Grandad right on. I’ve done it, and I quote ‘well if he can’t text me back in one whole day he aint worth my time’. Really?
In today’s world, we can’t wait 5 minutes for a level of commitment let alone 5 years for the other one to go off and fight a world war.
Nan wasn’t glued to her phone, seeing when Grandad was last online or checking his Snapchat and realising that she wasn’t the only girl he was flirting with. There’s a high chance she was going to a dance here and there with another boy. A chance he was walking another girl to their door. But they still chose one another. And that’s because those innocent indiscretions wouldn’t have been tagged on Facebook.
They didn’t have instant access to phones so if they made a date for a Saturday night, they committed to it. They looked forward to it all week. They didn’t make plans with someone they met two days later as they seemed a better option and they could easily sack the other one off via message. There was a sense of loyalty that seems to have gone down the pisser these days.
But most importantly what they had was based on just them two. Not late night texting that can get misconstrued when one person is more pissed or tired than the other. Not a relationship based on selfie taking rather than just enjoying the beauty of someone, in the flesh, on a normally lit Saturday night. Not something that was based on paranoia that every time the other persons phone beeped it could be another romantic interest or another Tinder match. It was based on talking. And dancing. And falling for what was right in front of them, not on their screen.
Because they were them. And because it was real. And they were the best couple (literally no bias) that ever lived, I will hold on and believe that even if they met on Happn in 2016 they would have made it because they were truly meant to be. But I think they would have struggled. Got distracted. Ballsed it up along the way.
So just a bit of food for thought for us all.
We need to make sure we don’t miss out on the real thing.
Just because there’s too many options.