Ever get them moments. When suddenly it hits you.
Like a train.
That you’re not 21 anymore.
And it sucks quite a big lot.
- When you opened Facebook and out of nowhere everyone had a baby. And not like a ‘shit, I’m 17 and that was silly’ baby, but like a proper ‘we’re really in love and are nearly 30 so it’s a good thing’ baby.
- When, the same day, you had to go out and buy 3 ‘New Baby’ cards because them people on Facebook ARE YOUR ACTUAL FRIENDS.
- When you opened your purse and realised you actually already had stamps to send them off. Cos that’s just who you are these days. The person that buys stamps ‘just incase’.
- When you didn’t go to the pub after work because you needed to put a wash on. Cos sadly you don’t hide your Mum in a cupboard in your rented flat and you have to wash your own pants. Sucks. To. Be. You.
- When you did go to the pub after work that time, stayed for 3 (5) like you used to and woke up and felt like someone had run you over with a bus. Cos apparently, now you feel like shit after only half a lager. Sad times.
- Or that time you couldn’t go out on the razz on a Saturday night because your gas bill came in. And you had to pay it. Cos once again, your Mum isn’t in the cupboard with her debit card. Gutter.
- When you actually spent a good half an hour of your lunch break looking into getting an ISA. I mean, half an hour was all it was, when you realised you needed more than a fiver to open one, you sacked it off and went back onto ASOS.
- When you left said pub cos they were playing music too loud and you wanted a chat.
Hi, I’m Jo and I’m 85.
- When, for the first year ever, you aren’t looking forward to your birthday. Because you’re going to be nearer 30 than you are 20 and that is literally the shittest.
- When you start dating again and realised you don’t actually just want a fumble in the back of a Ford Escort. But someone that’s going to be around for a while. Cos, well, it’s kinda getting to that stage now when you’re thinking it might not be a bad thing to be around someone semi permanently.
- When they talk to you about getting a pension at work, and you actually read the leaflet rather than hiding it under the microwave (my place of choice for ‘post to avoid’)
- When you stop sorting holidays from ‘Price Lowest-Highest’ but start sorting them on ‘Star Rating’. Cos you actually have some money these days. And don’t want to stay in a hotel that has mice. Fair.
- The day your savings account had more in it than your current account. Cos you’d finally made some headway into not being a reckless joke. (it’s worth noting that someone else told me that this sometimes happens. I for one, still don’t understand the concept of a savings account)
- That time you asked for a wine list in the pub. Because you don’t drink the equivalent to brake fluid anymore just to get pissed. You actually would rather just have 2 glasses and really enjoy it.
- When you and your best mate start to see more of each other in the gym, than anywhere else. Cos you both can’t eat takeaways like you used to. And one of you is saving for a house. And the other one is saving for a car. So this has to become your version of entertainment now.
- The first day you could no longer use your Young Person’s Rail Card. Cos guess what. You are no longer a young person. Killed. It.
- When you and your mate once went out for dinner on a Saturday night, and rather than going dancing afterwards like you once did, you went home, watched some shit on TV and ate a load of Twirl bites.
Because. Wait for it. It was a bit cold out. *gun to head*