So today came the news that the infamous Tiger Tiger Croydon is to close its doors this weekend. Gone are the days of student nights and illicit bumping and grinding with a boy you met in the cloakroom queue. I thought it only right to pay homage to the end of an era.
Here are the things you only know if you ever went to Tiger Tiger Croydon. If you know, you know.
1. Thursday’s were your bag.
Erm who needs to go out on a weekend like a human when you can neck £1.50 vodka redbulls the night before your A-Levels? Student nights/ the beginnings of teenage binge drinking.
2. It wasn’t a fair weather decision.
If you went to Tiger Tiger, you went hard. Every Thursday. Every Friday. And most Saturday’s from the ages of 17-22. And what?
3. You developed asthma
From the crazy amount of dry ice they used to pump in your nose weekly.
4. You knew about The White Room
It was like Croydon’s very own Bora Bora babes. Ibiza’s come to George St.
Cos it meant you got to spend all night doing the the two finger garage dance.
If you know, you know.
6. You were a JagerBomb champion
Like, knocking 8 back on a night out was standard. And applauded.
7. You were “spiked” at least once
Cos you throwing up against a tree and getting turned away from every cab in CR0 had nothing to do with the JagerBombs, did it.?
8. You knew the words to every Sean Paul song.
And that foot stomping dance EVERYONE did to Temperature.
If you know, you know
9. You’ve snogged at least 3 people in there who’s names don’t immediately come to you.
But they are still on your Facebook. Cos that was the 2008 chirpse.
10. Talking of chirpsing
Grinding up against the arse of a girl you’d never met was standard mating ritual behaviour. Ayt babes.
11. You didn’t need to eat
Cos you’d just fill up on lollipops from the toilet guys. And you’d have all the banter with them all night.
They hated you by the way.
12. You, at least once, saw someone having sex in the toilets
And almost certainly took a photo of it on your first ever photo taking Nokia 7650. Pow. Imma gonna MultiMedia Message you that.
13. You’ve got in there plenty of times with someone else’s ID.
14. You hired out a “booth” for your 20th birthday
And made the boys wear shoes.
Cos you were too grown up for a Walkabout foam party. Shazam.
15. You’d go for a fag and come back 3 hours later.
You’d either pulled, seen someone from school or had a ruc and got so delayed your mates presumed you’d been thrown out.
16. You were always there when the the lights came on at 3am
A sweaty mess and normally in the grips of passion with a girl that went to Westwood or a boy that went to St Jospehs. #sassy
17. You’d always end up in the cheese room
Because 8 Sean Paul songs back to back even got too much for diehard fans
18. You felt like a cheat if you ever dared go to Lloyds.
19. You were frightened for your life when people used to still smoke inside
Because of the pure amount of hairspray and Lynx Africa going on
20. You’ve left at least 2 coats in there.
Cos the queue for the cloakroom was basically a pile a of vommiting girls and gurning lads & your £9.99 Primark number just weren’t worth the grief