Being a murderer is pretty run of the mill stuff. Everyones killed someone at some time. Casual like.
You can run a successful, long standing, second hand car business that will run for years with a customer reach of only 30 people.
No matter how well off you are, how big your house is or how many kids you have you’d never dream of buying a washing machine….Launderette Massive.
You can get through life with only ever shopping in a Mini Mart. All. You. Need.
It’s ok to sometimes sleep with people you’re related to.
You can afford London rent just working 3 mornings a week in a caff.
Whenever you get in a cab, a theme tune will play. And you’ll be forced to stare out the back window.
You’ll only ever drink in one pub. Ever. In your whole life.
If you set light to your family home, but you’re a nice guy, you’ll get away with it.
If you do have a massive fire, it’s fine because your house will look exactly the same again in about two weeks.
Sometimes you’ll go away for a while, and when you come back you’ll look like someone completely different. Because you are someone completely different. But nobody will bat an eyelid.
You’ll end up in prison at least three times in your life. It’s cool tho. Cos Phil’s brief will get you off
It’s a normal occurrence for an arson attack, a kidnap, a murder, a birth and a comical interlude to all happen in half an hour and all within a square mile of each other.
Peggy Mitchell took magic tablets at birth and as such will never die. Ever.
If you’re called Tracey you must spend your life standing in the background and never speaking.
& last but not least
If you die, it doesn’t always mean you’re dead for always. You can come back to life.
Also pretending to die is fine. Totally OK and normal.