Things You Believed Were True At 15.

It’s been a week of throwbacks.

Firstly, we had an email from a guy we went to school with wanting to set up a secondary school reunion because it’s been 10 years since we left delightful Harris City Technology College. I haven’t seen this guy since then, but apparently Laura & I’s Facebook feed makes us ideal candidates to get a load of practical strangers in a pub together and get them suitably pissed. Offensive? Accurate? You decide.

Then of course everyone on Facebook started sharing their first ever profile pictures. Here’s mine, just to make you laugh. Also – whoever OK’d me to have them highlights needs shooting.


And last but by no means least, an old friend of mine (I won’t mention how many years it’s been that Kara has had me in stitches) shared this Buzzfeed link with me on Facebook this week that depicts 25 pictures that will take all Brits back to secondary school…it’s hilarious.

Nostalgia well and truly kicked in and got me harping back to my 15 year old, hooped earring wearing, slicked back hair self.

As well as the fashions, catchphrases and out and out stupid things we used to do, it got me realising how many things you genuinely believe are true when you are in your mid-teens….here’s some of them.

The 20 Things You Believed Were True At 15.

1. If a boy had his right ear pierced, he was homosexual. Left and he was a hard nut. Both? More than likely on a suspended sentence for some kind of robbery.

2. Being thick was attractive. End.

3. Being rude with no manners was even more so. Boys that got thrown out of class for abusing the teacher were 9/10 times more likely to get laid before their 16th birthday. Scientific fact.

4. If you had mates that went to another school you were cool as fuck.

5. Doing your homework well and on time basically meant you deserved no mates. If you weren’t in Friday night detention you would never get an invite to any party.

6.Snogging was more important than anything. Ever.

7. Actually, no, your virginity was. And having sex when you were still pretty much a child wasn’t only acceptable but encouraged.

8. Braces were a hindrance on life. No thought given to how grateful you are now that you don’t look like Stone Henge. The day you got them tightened was the worst day EVER. That actually was, I to this day have never known pain quite like that.

9. Walking around your local shopping centre with no money, or purpose, was a perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Let me just sit on this bench, with my mate, near that group of lads. Let’s not talk to them though. Cool? Cool.

10. SIMS WAS REAL LIFE. You felt like an absolute boss when you discovered a new cheat.

11. Bunking fourth period RE with Mr Dane to have a fag at the back gate was your human right.

12. All teachers were dickheads. No bars held or respect given for their patience and ability to nurture your very few skills.

13. Your A3 Design & Technology folder was a perfect place to reflect your personality. Mine had a massive picture of Usher on it…and some badly pixelated pictures of fashion brands logos that I found on Google (I was doing Textiles so was well fashion init). I also asked Jack Moorcroft to tag my name in the corner of the card during one tutor time because I was beyond cool….not as cool as him mind. He carried a Sharpie everywhere just to ‘tag’ stuff.

14. Talking of tagging. Boys that had a ‘tag’ were fit. Boys that ‘tagged’ the desks at school with their compass were basically husband material. Boys that ‘tagged’ train station walls? Well they just made girls pregnant by looking at them.

Again. Scientific fact.

15. Being selected for competitive sports was as important as the general election. The day I got chosen to play Basketball in one of our Faculty Tournaments was a Dear Diary moment. I now realise that my selection was only due to the fact that I was weirdly tall for a) a 15 year old, and b) a female, but…Nick Mathius, wherever you may be, you really made by 2004.

16. Asking people out was limited purely to MSN messenger. Some shit don’t change – have you met What’sApp?

17. Dial up internet was sent to earth to ruin your life. What do you  mean I have to stop talking to Tyrone from the year above because Mum needs to use the phone? Such a piss take
.

18. As a girl, you were only allowed to be funny if you were ugly or had braces. Or you were fat. Actually, if you were fat you didn’t need toe even really bother with the jokes. People still laughed. It’s fine, I can say it..I was ever such a large teenager, but ever so funny.

19. Mopeds were a perfectly acceptable mode of transport. No concerns at all about putting a hormone ridden boy on a what was essentially a hair dryer on wheels.

And last but not least.

20. These backpacks were a tardis…without fail you WOULD get everything you needed packed into one. And if your books didn’t fit, you just wouldn’t take them to school that day.

LLx
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