2014

A few pretty incredible things happened this year & I thought it only right to share the non beach holiday based highlights with you. In pictures of course. Because I’m obsessed.

We went to Cork for St Paddy’s Day
Basically we got pissed during fashion week. We booked flights after four bottles of wine. It was one of the rashest and dearest things I’ve done in a while. We didn’t have a soft drink for the entire time we were there. Katie hugged a lamppost. Rouse lost his passport. Laura basically turned into a pint of Guinness and Me. I busted out a two step in the only pub in Ireland that played Jay Z. Naturally.


I dyed my hair red….very red.
Yeah. Jessica Rabbit eat your heart out. Minus the dresses. Minus the figure. Minus the annoying rabbit. Laura says that my life took a turn for the better the minute I stepped out of the bathroom that day. I’m tempted to agree.


I turned 25 courtside
And soon realised that I’ll never be happy until I marry a basketball player. Hubba. Bubba.


Siouxsie gave me a talking to & I decided not to run away.
In June I decided I was going to jack it all in and go back packing round Asia with about sixty quid of savings and no real plan. One night out with my partner in crime and a firm talking to later, I realised staying put and making me happy here was the answer. So I did. She gave me the boost that was needed and I love her for it…and then in true style we drank a load of beer and didn’t get home til stupid AM. On a Wednesday. Classy til the end.
Oh yeah. I also started wearing leather leggings. A lot. Mmmm Pleather.

We went to our last festival 
Laura & I realised that 25 was the age that we could no longer not shower for two days. We camped with popper taking children and realised that actually we quite like having proper chairs to sit on. We did however see M People. Which was epic. My Heather Small impression lives on.

I got to spend some quality time with this one. 
My Nan isn’t very well god love her. But we’ve had a blast this year. And I’ve finally realised where I get my lip, my ability to knit and sew, my stubbornness from and where I learnt to drink gin like a sailor. All hail Joanie Louie Brickell. An icon. x

I ran up The Gherkin 
I raised £500 for charity and nearly killed myself. Was it worth it? Not at all.

I moved into our lovely flat with my best mate

These cushions really made it! We eat a lot of biscuits. We drink even more tea. And she’s finally got me to watch a Harry Potter film. Our flat is ace. I know in twenty years we will look back and laugh at how much it shakes when the tram goes past. But for now we’re just learning to survive on very little sleep.

I got in shape 
After a long time of not being entirely happy with myself I took the bull by the horns and got lean. Being able to take a photo like this, of me basically in underwear, was a real turning point..so long Buddha Belly…hello Muscle Mary.

I had the most fabulous Big Gay Xmas 
In September I emailed Ben & Josh a voucher code for an Adonis Cabaret. Things escalated really bloody quickly and before I knew it, we were having the biggest, gayest weekend in Brighton. Ever such a lot of drag queens, bottles of wine, pizzas, shooting stars and near the mark jokes. I also came to the conclusion that I am basically 80% a gay man. And I’m really OK with it.

& to round a fairly brilliant year off. My best mate got engaged. 
I cried. We all cried. Not even through happiness. Just in pure dread about how horrendous the hen do’s going to be and how grown up one of us now is. Oh and because we were really happy that she’ll be marrying probably one of the nicest guys anyone will ever meet.

Here’s to 2015.

Happy New Year everyone. Be lucky

LL x

Winter

It’s freezing. Like, super bloody cold! As if having to commit the cardinal sin of going back into the office between Christmas and New Year wasn’t painful enough, I had to do it this morning with icicles on my face. 
It’s a fact that I dress better in the winter. I am OBSESSED with grey jumpers and these legs were born to be in a 90 denier tight. BUT, I am 100% a summer person. I love pub gardens, I like being outside without getting hyperthermic and I enjoy being by the seaside. I do have see through skin so sunburn is a daily challenge but it’s the only down side. 
Granted the winter months have their plus points. Red wine, CHRISTMAS, all things relatively glittery and of course hats like this one ^^^(what a dreamboat!). However, on the whole they suck. Particularly January, which is depressingly only 2 sleeps away.
 And here’s 16 reasons why.
1. You have to deal with people sniffing. Not full on snorts, just the annoying little insescent sniffs. Ever. So. Jarring. 
2. Daily, you run the risk of loosing your job because of the amount of time you spend googling holidays. IT are currently having a field day looking at your history and having a good old laugh with John from Payroll about how far you actually think you can go on your modest (small) wage.
3. As if Christmas didn’t rinse you of everything you own, you then have to deal with the daily SALE SALE SALE emails that don’t seem to go away until you’ve bought two new pairs of Air Max 90’s and a coat that’s blatantly too small. Sorry, but babe, did you see how much meat you ate at Christmas?  Defo in need of the 16.
4. Dry skin. Elephant like skin. That no matter how much thick cocoa butter you ply onto yourself goes nowhere. I am a scaly mess. Scaly. Pasty. Mess. 
5.  Arriving and leaving work in the dark. Excuse me whilst I just go away and do a little bit of self harm. 
6. THE COMPLETE LACK OF MONEY LEFT IN YOUR BANK.
7. People trying to rope you into doing Dry January. Sorry, but I’m actually perfectly OK with my current booze intake/ fag consumption/ calorie absorption/ lack of exercise. Just because you hate yourself mate, don’t drag me down with you. 
8. Snow. Looks lovely on the tele. Causes me and my lack of central gravity to go flying every time I try and move my feet. Cheers.
9. Which moves me swiftly onto Wellington Boots. Plastic, smelly, squealchy bastards that give you blisters and make you walk like you’ve had an accident of the toilet variety. Even worse…. Novelty wellies. Oh yes, it’s so hilarious that your wellies look like penguins. Get out of my face.
10. Broken public transport. Because it’s seems completely rational that, what in essence is some frozen water, would stop an entire train network working. Get the hairdryer out and get me to work. 
11. Gloves. The entrapment clothing that stops you being able to do anything, at all, with any ease. Oh you want to answer your phone do you? Good luck! 
12. Having to still shave your legs even though they’ve been hidden under layers and layers of clothing for months, just incase someone relatively attractive sees them. Long. 
13. Planning how appropriate it is to commit identity fraud just to get yourself out of paying the impending gas bill. If only morals were easier to get beyond.
14. How busy the gym is. With part time, flaky, gym folk. I won’t bother with the customary raised eyebrow smile at the water fountain love. It’s ever so apparent that you won’t be here much past January pay day.
15. Shops starting to stock their summer ranges already. I’m sorry but it’s minus 2 outside and your trying to flog me a bikini? The current state I’m in is a phase I like to call ‘The Pasty Whale’ and you want to shove pictures of skinny, tanned birds in my face? Show me the baggy jumper and stretchy legging section immediately before I take my custom swiftly elsewhere.

& last but by no means least
16. NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS. Hands down the most pointless things ever invented and the source of so many conversations. Please shut up. There is no way, sweetheart, that you are going to shift 6 stone, meet the man of your dreams and break your ‘bottle of gin a night’ habit in enough time to get your leg over on Valentines Day. NOT HAPPENING. You’ll be at home, in jogging bottoms, on Tinder. Probably eating a KFC. Deal.
LL x